it's about that time.

I was reminded of what it feels like to be cold down to the bone this morning while I sat and waited for my car to melt the first frost of the season off of my windows.

It was not a good feeling.

Week 4

Matt's mom got a letter this week. In it, he said he's "Hangin Tough".....

I cried in a bar last night after I heard "Please come to Boston," a song that I myself picked on the jukebox totally unaware of the fact that I would break down while listening to it. I'm so used to hearing Matt singing along beside me, I suddenly felt more alone than ever. Mel gave me a hug and we shed our tears together.

Why the tears creep up on me in the least expected moments I will never know.

My hair went from blonde to brown this week. It has been an adjustment, but everyone says I have "more color now"....great. Glad to know I was a ghost before.

I heard today from Matt's recruiter that his is doing better and should re-enter training on Monday. I hope he was telling me the truth. I'm starting to believe the opposite of whatever they claim due to their awesomely honest track record lately. Regardless, this news has put my heart at ease for the first time in two weeks.

yea...I'd say all in all...I'm hangin tough too.

Ty.

As I mentioned earlier, I've been forcing myself to hit the gym lately. I am attempting to loose some pounds that have been gained by 2 years of complete ignorance to the fact that as you get older, you're body slows down and doesnt burn fat as quickly as it used to.

To help with this process, I have my trainer....Ty.
Ty fits the stereotype of being a "meathead" to a tee.
I am constantly amazed at how much he thinks of his bulging muscles. His most common "move" is to flex his arms and stare at them while he demonstrates how to lift certain weights.
I keep waiting for him to kiss his bicep except his neck is so big I dont know if he could bend it down far enough to do so.
To his credit, he gets the job done...even if I am mentally cussing him out with every set.
I'll keep you updated on the process.

Meanwhile...if you need tickets to the gun show i'll hook you up.

seeking peace

Thursday night I found out that Matt wont be graduating until after the new year due to medical problems he's been having.
Please dont ask questions...I only wish I had answers. But the fact that I cannot speak to him nor him to me makes this situation all the more frustrating.
Suddenly I felt myself falling apart, and if I didnt do something quick, my emotional state of mind would slip.
Mel was going on a family trip, told me to tag along.
"It will be good for you to get away," she said.
I knew she was right.
I took her word for it.
I ended up at a place that brings comfort to my mind and peace to my soul...the beach.
Saturday evening we wandered down to the beach, sat on a blanket, and watched the most amazing storm roll in. The lightning over the ocean was amazing. It was a rush to see the waves so violent.
My restless soul could relate.
The next day the sun broke through the clouds over the ocean and I was reminded once again of what I've always known...God doesnt put us through anything we can't handle.

nice.

Fall is in the air.
Bring on the cooler weather.
Bring on the colorful trees.
and...
Bring on the perverted pumpkins!




har har har.....

the french braid.

Since Matt has left, I have abandoned all attempts to look pretty.
This is not because I am depressed as much as it is because I am becoming a slave to the gym, and just dont give a damn about impressing anyone with my looks lately.
ok that sounded depressing.
My point is, I didn't realize just how much I have abandoned my routine of beautifying myself until this morning when I showed up to work in brown clogs, brown pants, green shirt, no make-up on, and my hair french-braided.
yea, FRENCH BRAIDED.
I have not french-braided my hair since high school.
Now that I think about it, I havent seen anyone with a french braid since the 90's.

Guess it's time to put myself back together.

the new girl.

My fellow salesmen wonder why I "just can't get along with the other women in my office?"

I tell them i have nothing in common with....

A) Women who build curtains out of paper clips to hang over the entrance to their cubes.
B) Women who get escorted out of the office by officers because they have outstanding warrants.
C) Women that go to lunch, and return to work 2 hours later smelling of whiskey and covering their ears because of the loud noise they hear (otherwise known as a telephone ring).
D) Women who wear bedroom slippers to work...on purpose.

....need I say more?

You're laughing....but the above descriptions are based on real life experiences.
Trust me, I wish I could say I was stretching the truth!

On a lighter note....a new girl started today.
I heard someone ask, "Where did you grow up?"
She replied, "In a very sheltered church and home...I dont say it personally, but some people say I grew up in a cult."
I sighed a sigh of relief.

Finally.....someone normal!