this blog made me smile today...

Always Late With The Gift, But I Make It Up By Eating Part of It.
Confidential to Melati:

Front porch. Check it.

Late-ass birthday present, plus some pretty great wine and glass Christmas ornaments designed to shatter upon contact with sound.

I ate the cheese.

I owe you some cheese.

Maybe for Christmas.

In March.

--By erin (www.outofcharacter.blogspot.com)

Phillip

It's been 9 months since our friend Phillip committed suicide. I have had more than enough time to wonder what I could have done differently to perhaps save him from himself. My head says what is obvious "It's not your fault" but my heart still argues that perhaps there was something there I should have picked up on...a warning...something. I know Matt has dealt with the same feelings of emptiness and regret especially since he was the one sitting beside Phillip when he said he had something "important" to tell him 2 weeks before he died. But the music from the band was too loud for Matt to hear what Phillip was saying so he let him talk and tried to listen as hard as he could. I would have done the same thing. Phillip was always a "talker" but never about anything serious. Sitting across the table from them I too could not hear my own thoughts for the roar of the speakers in front of us but wondered what was on his mind.
I will always wonder what was on his mind.

It's a relief when someone else puts your feelings into words for you...a bigger relief when they add those words to music."The Fray" is a new band who has done this for me. The song is on the radio...maybe you've heard it.


Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong,
I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice

Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong,
I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong,
I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life