Paris

This past weekend was a whirlwind trip to Paris.
That's Paris, Tennessee.
The occasion? My cousin Abbey's wedding.
It was the first time my grandmother and her sister (my great aunt susie) had both of their entire families together at one time.
They both shared tears of joy the whole weekend because of this feat we were all able to pull off.
I rode the total 1,090 miles with two of my brothers, Richard and Jim.
Then there was my dear Matt who decided to go with me at the last minute due to my wonderful begging skills.
The trip consisted of rolling down the windows constantly due to wrank farts... of which each male in the car would brag about as if he were 10 years old.
Added to the farts was plenty of shit-talk between the three of them.
Jim would tease Richard about his girlfriend.
Richard would tease Jim about his....or lack thereof.
Jim would pout.
Richard would ease off.
Jim would make a come-back.
And the cycle would repeat itself.
And of course Matt was there to strategically instigate the battles between the two.
It was entertaining....for about 15minutes.



Then there was the wedding reception...with an open bar.
Dudely shoals doesnt have too many weddings.
And when there is a wedding, an open bar is as rare as seeing a house without wheels.
So stick my brothers...at a reception...with an open bar...
And well, you've got trouble.
Jim was the one who had no shame.
He would yell "I'm gonna get wasted tonight!" to my Dad who has finally given up on trying to make my brother act mature in any way.
Then he would pass his drink around to anyone who would give him the time of day saying, "taste this!" with a big grin on his face.
Everyone who dared take a sip of his cup of straight alcohol would cringe.
Then he'd belt out a deep laugh like it was cool to be the drunkest person at the reception.
Richard stayed on the sidelines.
One of his major goals in life is not to end up like Jim.
Therefore, he never passes a chance to make it known that the only similarity between the two is that they are of the same blood.
He would wait for Jim to start charming some girls....then connive different ways to make him look like a retard in front of them.
His mission was accomplished... more than once.
Yes, all in all it was a good trip.
I met cousins that I had only heard about, and stocked up on plenty of stories to share with friends who are always entertained by my family episodes.
As I drifted off to sleep last night I concluded that I've had enough family time to last me a long while.

...then I realized Thanksgiving is two months away. shit.






My grandmother (left) and Aunt Susie....




Jim (left), Matt (middle) and Richard (right) at the reception.