Still Adjusting.

I was reminiscing with a friend the other day about when I would meet Matt uptown for lunch on fridays. He worked at the IJL building (one of the tallest buildings in charlotte).I would wait for him in the lobby...trying to spot him in the crowd of people swarming in and out of the security check points. Secretaries..lawyers..bankers..all shifting from place to place. Then I would spot him strolling through the hectic crowd. He was never in a rush always just putting one step in front of the other even as people gave him dirty looks as they passed by him. He wasnt in a hurry for anything...not lunch, not even life. Walking beside him down the sidewalk made me more aware of how fast I too walked just to get to the next destination. I had to slow down to stay with him. I was ok with life slowing down when I was with him. We would order our food at a little cafe, then talk about our friends, family or the upcoming weekend. Then an hour later we would find ourselves standing in front of the building saying goodbye. I would beg for a kiss and he would smile and say no...knowing all the while I wouldnt stop tugging on his arm and asking until he gave into my request. Finally he would look around to make sure his boss wasnt within sight. I knew what was next. Then he would bend down and kiss me. I would smile in my triumph and walk away like I was walking down the runway at a fashion show just because I knew he was watching from behind.
Those moments were only a year ago. They seem so far away.
Today he's in Mississippi trying to make it to May 3rd when he will be stationed and will finally belong somewhere even if it's only for a few months. I can count the number of times I've seen him since last September on one hand.
Sometimes I think of what that base in Mississippi might look like. I know Meridian Mississippi is a "hole in the wall town" so I picture the base looking boring. I picture concrete buildings where the cinderblock walls are painted orange or an ugly yellow from the 1960's. Then I picture Matt walking down the sidewalk in his camouflage saluting officers on his way to his next class. He doesnt stroll anymore. Instead he walks with a confident stride...each step now has a purpose.