Before we know it, we have each hit "pause" on our busy lives and we find ourselves sitting outside on the patio just before the sun sets, smoking cigarettes (a hobby just recently picked up because "there's nothing else to do I guess"). We take turns reflecting on life as we pass the lighter around. The subjects are as shallow as how many mosquito bites we each have, to thoughts on issues of suicide, abortion...how precious life really is.
We started this patio ritual last spring, and thousands of conversations later we are now heading to the end of another summer of our twenty-something lives.
As we were chatting last night...I couldnt help but step outside the moment and reflect on just how much this ritual, and these girls have come to mean to me. They are real. They have problems. They see humor in quirky girly moments, and they find happiness in simplicity. But my oh my how things have changed in just a few months of summer. It always works out that way doesnt it? No one ever looks back on a winter and thinks "wow, so much happened in those cold winter months, I cant believe they have flown by so quickly!" No, it is the summertime that always sweeps us away, and the wintertime that prepares us to be swept away the following summer.
Aim has grown the most. She is slowly and steadily seeking out what it really means to follow her heart. She wants to be told she's beautiful. She deserves that. It's long overdue. She doesnt want to settle for less. She tries to rationalize her restless heart only to discover how dependable her gut feeling can really be. Just watching the process from the outside looking in is a beautiful thing...especially when you've been in the middle of such moments yourself. She's a survivor. She'll make it. Just wait and see.
Meantime Mel has the world by the horns and the fight has given her a run for her money. She's realized the dillusional peace that comes with having a comfort zone. She holds back from taking risks and then battles the disappointment in herself for not taking the risk. Even still, she has an amazing ability re-light the fire and keep burning. She puts her heart and soul into everything before thinking twice about it. I hope she never thinks twice. The world could never have enough Melody.
Yes, for the first time in a long time, my heart is at ease from simply sharing my summer with girls like Aim and Mel.
And ya know...there are those moments in life when you sit and think "when I am old and grey...I want to look back and remember this moment... and smile." It's comforting to know that I have another summer full of those moments.
So someday if you see me rocking away in my rocking chair with a big foolish grin on my face, you'll know why.
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